Prepare: Get a ring. You don't have to but you could actually get engaged.
What to do: Start talking about your engagement.
Example:
Fred: I love prom! I can't wait to go this party! It's like prom! I'm wearing my lime green suit but I don't know which tie to wear. Should I wear the one with penguins or the one with parrots? Maybe the one with lions and tigers? Or jaguars or ele...
Jarrah: I'm engaged.
Fred: What?
Jarrah: Her name is Ivanna the Horrible. She's so nice!
Fred: Isn't she the one with eight husbands?
Jarrah: So?
Fred: At the same time? And the one with a "quick temper"?
Jarrah: Don't be jealous. Let's plan my wedding!
Fred: Let's not. I did a research project on her. Here let me read my list of one hundred reasons why no one should marry Ivanna the Horrible or Ivan the Terrible. Reason Number 1: What follows the. Reason Number 2...
Conclusion: You changed the conversation. If your friend doesn't pick it up, just start planning your wedding.
Warning: Your friend might be mad if you're not actually engaged and might tell the person you're "engaged to". This could be embarrassing/awkward/weird but you have conversation changers so it will be fine. Also, if your fake engagement buddy really likes you and the idea of getting engaged and you might actually find yourself getting married. Hopefully not.
NOOOOOOOOOO! JARRAH!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!! ;( I am drowning in my tears here!!! I have finally found the man I love and want to marry someday and then you have to go and get engaged!!!!! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
ReplyDeleteJarrah how could you do this?! Noo! You and me are meant to be together!!
ReplyDeleteOk guys, Let's get this straight. Jarrah belongs to ME. All right? Yeah Jarrah, if you're reading this, know that I love you and I'll find you some day and we'll get married and live in the mountains with twenty kids.
ReplyDeleteBack off you jealous freaks! didn't you read? He's engaged to a woman named Ivanna. Yeah! ANyway, if he loved any of you LOSERS, he wouldn't be getting married to her instead.
ReplyDeleteGET A LIFE
Trust Fred to do research on other people's fiances
ReplyDeleteYou guys really don't read do you...it's a joke!All it says is to get a ring and start talking about your engagement...he didn't really get engaged!!
ReplyDeleteThat would just be weird and Ivanna is a terrible name btw
a response to Dylan:
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't actually say that he DIDN'T get engaged! For all we know he could be forty year old man living in Tibet with 12 children. He could even be a girl! We don't actually know who this guy is.
Where's the love for poor Fred? He's smart, funny, and wants to rule the world. WHat more could you ask for?
ReplyDeleteTeam Fred here!!
But Jarrahs cool too
Sorry. Don't really know what to say. I can put you all on an email list if I'm ever single again.
ReplyDeleteP.S. While I won't confirm or deny the engagement, I will say that Ivanna is a beautiful name and has a nice ring to it. It means "peaceful". It is pronounced Evanna but she spells it with an "I" to be awesome!
P.P.S. Yeah! What about Fred?? No one's commented on his "unique" wardrobe.
well would you look at that? Jarrah's got a bunch of secret admirers!
ReplyDelete(snickers)
Bet you weren't expecting that!
And "cuteforever" just...no
There's no team Fred. It's not happening. It never will. No. Please go home.
_Fred AKA Future Ruler of the World
Believe it or not, this actually worked...
ReplyDeleteUHHHHHH! What a vile website! Everyone (a.k.a. me) knows that I will rule the world... ANDDD Mars and Saturn and Jupiter an- Okay maybe I should stop. Anyway, Fred will be the easy one. The German tree will be difficult. But, my brain power shall overcome.
ReplyDeleteMMMMMHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
This website is for losers. I mean who spends there time on a blog! FACEBOOK!!!!! The people who write this website are losers
ReplyDeleteJust as an F.Y.I. for anyone who believes they will rule the world instead of us, I have six words, my friend. We will see. We will see.
ReplyDeleteOr 7. Don't count your chickens before they hatch.