Prepare: You must be eating food during this awkward conversation. Also have some water near you for the recovery.
What to do: Eat a bite. Pretend to choke.
Example
Carlos: Why don't you ever you hug me, Fred? Don't you like me? Huh?
Fred: (takes a bite)I...er- (starts choking)
Carlos: Oh no! Oh no!
Jarrah: Swallow, Fred
Fred: (chokes and hacks...eventually stops) (drinks water) I'm ok. I am ok.
Carlos: Are you sure? You know, I remember once when I...
Conclusion: The talker will be so preoccupied with making sure you're ok that they'll forget all about the previous conversation. Possibly a new one involving choking hazards might start.
Warning: Risks include actually choking on your food (if you're not careful) and/or getting laughed at for your ridiculous stunt. Make sure the talker is naive enough to believe you.
So during lunch my boyfriend was talking about his body and like his hair and how much shampoo he uses and stuff. And he started asking me all these questions about what kinds of products I use to make mine all shiny and flowy and whatever and like how often I like, shave. Awkward much? So I like started choking on my pasta. And like any amazing boyfriend, he immediately forgot what he was talking about and saved my life! And then we lived happily ever after. NOT!
ReplyDeleteIT DIDN'T WORK!! I started choking, and he DIDN'T. EVEN. CARE!!! He was just like, "oh, cool, she could possibly be DYING!!" *continues talking about hair to the girl at the other table*
ADSFR231yu76HJIUB3457u891up5VHJSFLIU13241rhieftyq39p9P8TY98.
These conversation changers are so stupid!! You guys suck!
Betty Haitzer
Fred and Jarrah, don't listen to this Betty person. You guys and your conversation changers are AMAZING! Forget the haters. Your fans love you!
ReplyDeleteAnd to this Betty chick: Don't blame Fred and Jarrah for his shallowness. Get a better boyfriend.
I actually tried this with my boyfriend too, and it totally worked.
Ide Haitertew
So I was eating lunch today and my friend was about to start talking about the guy she likes, AGAIN!! She talks about him 24/7 and it's so annoying. I mean I don't even know this guy but I know him better than his mom does because of my friend. So anyway, I was reading these yesterday, trying to solve my problem and decided this was perfect. I started fake choking and long story short, I almost died and had to go to the hospital and my friend was so scared. Im okay and now she thinks the guy caused me to choke! You have saved my sanity!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!
ReplyDeletep.s. betty, you go to my school. you don't have a boyfriend. stop pretending. that guy is so self centered and narcissistic. i don't think he even knows your name. you're worse than my friend. get a life. and you are such a copier. i did this first.
wow does she really go to your school? Small world!
DeleteGuys I don't even need to pretend! I naturally end up choking in any awkward conversation ;)
ReplyDeleteBut this is prtty funny i should try to freak someon out by pretendingg to choke. Then they'll feel bad. HA!
I'm glad this worked for some of you.
ReplyDeleteTo the ones that went to the hospital/almost died, try not to die. It hurts. (I think)
maybe this conversation changer needs a BETTER warning label. stop by my firm sometime and you can pay me lots of money to fix that. or someone might end up sueing you. (hint hint)
ReplyDeletePS that is not a hint because I would never sue you.
(but someone less generous than me might)
This is EXACTLY why me and Jarrah have fake identities. We don't associate with lawyers anymore (wasn't so fun the first time..."shudders").
ReplyDelete_Fred (AKA future ruler of the world)
It would be funny if someone sued us.
ReplyDeleteJudge: so you're suing people from a blog that don't exist.
Person: Well, yes.
Judge: Do you know their real names?
Person: nooo..
Judge: Was there a warning on the sight?
Person: yes...
Judge: Why were you fake choking in the first place? THIS CASE IS RIDICULOUS! I CHARGE YOU WITH A FINE FOR WASTING MY TIME.
HAha. Feel free to sue us people. Just be sure to send us a video of you in court with the judge :)
10/10 Would choke again
ReplyDelete4/10 Could not choke again afterwards
DeleteI came here to learn how to fake choke for my school play. haha i see this drama. I hope I do well wish me luck!
ReplyDelete